Modern Art Makes Me Want To ROCK OUT!

Before I launch into this I should probably, in the interest of full disclosure, admit that I am and have been for many years a intense and (mostly) unapologetic anglophile. I saw Trainspotting no less than 12 times in the theater and at one point could do mildly passable impressions of each character's distinct accent. The fact that Suede had to change their name to The London Suede for their stateside release made me LIVID. I believe The Buzzcocks should be legally entitled to drag each and every atrocious pop-punk band of the last few decades in front of a very testy barrister. I actually saw Oasis in concert, more specifically at the beginning of their death spiral, circa Be Here Now. Oh yeah.

But despite my blind allegiance to all things pasty and in need of dental work, my love of Art Brut's new album, "Bang Bang Rock & Roll" exists independently of said fixation. Though I tend to say this whenever I buy something good, they truly are my new favorite band for the moment. Art Brut truly exists in a fascinating conceptual space. Their tongue is planted, perhaps superglued, in their collective cheek and yet their music is truly, brilliantly straight ahead and (dare I say it?) ROCKING.

A few sample lyrics, aside from the title of this posting:

• I'm drinking Hennesy with Morrissey on a beach out of reach somewhere very far away!
• Haven't read the NME in so long, don't know what genre we belong in!
• We want to be the band that writes the song that makes Israel and Palestine get along!

And so on. The exclamation marks are entirely necessary as most of the choruses are shouted with the cadence and accent (I would imagine) of a football chant and the verses generally rise from a Mark E. Smith-esque drawl into more shouting. They play ass kickingly tight rock and roll with a sense of humor and irony without descending into embarassing jokey-ness or out and out pastiche (former: see The Darkness, latter: see The Hives). What they do here is truly something that I feel only the British are capable of doing, and even then not something we've heard a lot of from them lately.

As much as I referenced Brit-Pop earlier, and as much as it still holds a special and dirty place in my heart, it has actually been the death of British music until relatively recently. "Noelrock" (a term I first heard in the ridiculously entertaining book "Britpop: Cool Britania and The Spectacular Demise of English Rock") stormed the turrets of British music. Those bland yet ingratiating "Wonderwall" style ballads are now the template for widespread success over there. Coldplay? Check. Keane? Check. Starsailor, Elbow & Stereophonics? Check check check. All of this being one of the biggest reasons Art Brut is both refreshing as well as totally excellent.

But I digress. Frequently. So do you self a big-assed favor and buy this now. NOW damnit.

Look! Full Sentences!

Hello all. So this is blogging, eh? Somewhat anti-climactic, but then again I don't have slavering hordes of people eagerly awaiting my next post. Yet. Right?

Speaking of people in such situations, my deepest thanks and love go out to my very oldest, closest & and possibly nakedest friend, one Cynthia, proprietor (-tress?) of Life in the Pink. She has inspired me to even attempt this blog foray.

I understand that this might not be the most interesting thing to start with, but think of it as having to slog though the laborious set-up of the first X-Men movie so you can jump right into to the intense ass kicking of the second. Given that enticing intro here's some quick background so this isn't just a string of non-sequiturs, or at least non-sequiturs without context.

• I graduated from college almost a decade ago (shudder) with a degree in English.
• I work for my family's Mortgage Company, though I try not to even utter the word FICO outside of their walls.
• All of my disposable income is spent on books, music and liquor - which would also be a good expansion strategy for Borders. "Borders Books, Music, Movies and Liquor! This week's special: Purchase any Bukowski Book and get a free jug of Gallo!"
• I live in sin with my wonderful girlfriend Ashley, and I hereby vow not to ever inflict undue cuteness regarding this topic. Unless we get married. That was a joke.
• I have a stoma/trachaeotomy/extra orifice. The biggest impact this has on my life is that I cannot go swimming. This is of course a good thing in that I will never be forced into a bathing suit; except for maybe one of those stripey, turn of the century one pieces with matching bathing cap.
• Writing a list like this makes me feel small and far too easy to sum up.

This will not be a confessional. This will not be a political forum (unless I started it and you agree with me). This will not be a blow-by-blow account of the minutia of my existence (unless it's REALLY interesting, like with explosions and/or weeping. Or if I'm just pissed off.). This will probably be me talking interminably about what I am reading, listening to and watching. Reviews may well ensue. Not sure you'll give a crap about what I'll probably be talking about? Look at my profile and see if we have a few commonalities. And if we don't, who doesn't love reading something they violently disagree with?

So that's that for now. I look forward to having people read this for a couple of posts, get bored and ultimately ignore me. That was a joke too. Sort of.